Recovery
Blog posts and long reads about addiction and recovery. See also: Terminally Unique.
- Terra Incognita (Terminally Unique, Pt. 21/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links The last chapter, titled “Clarity,” is where I originally ended things in 2012, and for the better part of a decade I’ve regretted writing that ending the way I did. To be clear, what bothered me most about my conclusion was using a clichéd premise to […]
- Clarity (Terminally Unique, Pt. 20/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links “Clarity” is the twentieth part of a project called Terminally Unique. It features what was originally the closing chapter from a piece I published in 2013 called Believed to Be Seen. To gain a better sense of what this broader series is, I suggest starting from the beginning […]
- Does Rehab Work? (Terminally Unique, Pt. 19/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links My concern in discussing treatment in public like this is that I might somehow discourage someone who needs help from seeking that help. That’s part of my decision to explain a different side to Alcoholics Anonymous, from a perspective I didn’t have ten years ago. If […]
- Adaptation (Terminally Unique, Pt. 18/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links “Adaptation” is the eighteenth part of a project called Terminally Unique. It features what was originally the eighth chapter from a piece I published in 2013 called Believed to Be Seen. To gain a better sense of what this broader series is, I suggest starting from the beginning […]
- My A.A. Speaker Tape (Terminally Unique, Pt. 17/21) ()
I don’t remember where I read or heard this, but it’s been said that getting sober and telling people about it like it’s something to be proud of is like walking into a room of unsuspecting people, unloading a machine gun, missing everyone, and asking for a pat on the back because you didn’t kill […]
- Isolationists (Terminally Unique, Pt. 16/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links “We shall get rid of that terrible sense of isolation we’ve always had,” notes the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. “Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness.” I can’t stress enough how true it’s been for me that isolation isn’t merely a byproduct of my […]
- CBT and the 12 Steps (Terminally Unique, Pt. 15/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links I’ve heard it said that the best diet is the one you’re actually willing to do. In recovery terms, there is no single best way to get or stay sober, there’s only the plan for recovery you’re willing to try. A decade or so ago I […]
- Reconsidering A.A. (Terminally Unique, Pt. 14/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links “Reconsidering Alcoholics Anonymous” is the fourteenth part of a project called Terminally Unique. It features what was originally the seventh chapter from a piece I published in 2013 called Believed to Be Seen. To gain a better sense of what this broader series is, I suggest starting from […]
- What is a Relapse? (Terminally Unique, Pt. 13/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links What is a relapse? The question is straight forward, but the interpretation is where things become a little more opaque. Not to start things off in too dry a manner, but the Alcohol and Drug Foundation does well in defining it, explaining, “A relapse happens when […]
- All or Nothing (Terminally Unique, Pt. 12/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links “All or Nothing” is the twelfth part of a project called Terminally Unique. It features what was originally the sixth chapter from a piece I published in 2013 called Believed to Be Seen. To gain a better sense of what this broader series is, I suggest starting from […]
- Perfectionism and Recovery (Terminally Unique, Pt. 11/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links “I do it every ten seconds,” writes Russell Brand in Recovery, “It could be a part in a film, a passing stranger or a can of Diet Coke—’If I get that, I’ll be alright,’ I think, not those words, it’s quicker and more insidious than words. […]
- A Crisis of Identity (Terminally Unique, Pt. 10/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links “A Crisis of Identity” is the tenth part of a project called Terminally Unique. It features what was originally the fifth chapter from a piece I published in 2013 called Believed to Be Seen. To gain a better sense of what this broader series is, I suggest starting […]
- What is Recovery? (Terminally Unique, Pt. 9/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links A few months into my new job working the overnight shift at the in-patient treatment center, the facility experienced its first ever on-campus death from overdose. It occurred while my shift was just getting started. A patient had snuck in some drugs and they killed him. […]
- Untreatable (Terminally Unique, Pt. 8/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links “Untreatable” is the eighth part of a project called Terminally Unique. It features what was originally the fourth chapter from a piece I first published in 2013 called Believed to Be Seen. For more background on what this series is, I suggest starting from the beginning with the […]
- The Disease Concept of Alcoholism (Terminally Unique, Pt. 7/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links There’s such a thick residue of resentment I see in myself in that last chapter, but I don’t think it I can be too critical of the perspective I had. Addiction can be wildly confusing and it can be frustrating from the perspective of someone going […]
- One Nation Under the Influence (Terminally Unique, Pt. 6/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links “One Nation Under the Influence” is the sixth part of a project called Terminally Unique. If you’re starting here, this is going to be confusing because it features the third chapter from a piece I originally published in 2013 called Believed to Be Seen. If you are new, […]
- Organized Confusion (Terminally Unique, Pt. 5/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links The phrase “terminally unique” is one that comes up regularly in the recovery community. A definition for it which rings as most true for me also refers terminal uniqueness as “personal exceptionalism,” calling it a “false belief that your experiences with substance abuse are unlike those […]
- Surrender (Terminally Unique, Pt. 4/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links “Surrender” is the fourth part of a project called Terminally Unique. It features the second chapter from a piece I originally published in 2013 called Believed to Be Seen. For context on what this project is, what my hopes are for it, and where it might be leading, […]
- The Maze Within (Terminally Unique, Pt. 3/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links “…How I finally found my way out of its maze.” In the years since its publication, this introduction is one of the things that continues to sit most sideways with me about Believed to Be Seen. In the writing, I did my best to explain where […]
- Letting Go (Terminally Unique, Pt. 2/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links “Letting Go” is the second part of a series called Terminally Unique, and the first part of the series that looks back on a piece of writing I published in 2013 called Believed to Be Seen. For context on what this project is, what my hopes […]
- A New Pair of Glasses (Terminally Unique, Pt. 1/21) ()
Listen to Terminally Unique via… YouTubeSpotifyApple PodcastsAmazonPandoraAdditional Streaming Links In February of 2013 I published a writing project called Believed to Be Seen. Looking back on it in the rearview, it was an incomplete history of my problematic relationship with alcohol, written in nine parts as an extended essay. With a friend’s help, I recorded […]
- Three Years ()
The other day I was sitting at the library, studying, when I got a call from a manager at work. There was miscommunication about who was covering which responsibilities and something important had fallen through the cracks. Several days prior I’d moved on from the job where I had been reporting to him, the ownership […]
- “A Spiritual Axiom” ()
“[W]hen a person experiences nearly identical events and reacts two different ways, then it is not the event which is of prime importance, but the person’s spiritual condition. Feelings come from inside, not from outward circumstances.” —Daily Reflections, October 9 There’s this guy at work who leaves his cell-phone ringer on whenever he’s visiting the […]
- Shut Up and Dance ()
In a meeting yesterday, noting their history in theater, someone said, “As they say in my world, shut up and dance.” I’m paraphrasing, but it rattled me. As people were sharing their thoughts, the Daily Reflections book was being passed around, with the October 6 reading titled “Facing Ourselves.” “How often I avoided a task […]
- Getting Lost ()
“How will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you? […] That thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you is usually what you need to find, and finding it is a matter of getting lost.” –Rebecca Solnit, A Field Guide to Getting Lost Some time […]
- Imperfection in Recovery ()
“Never in our lives, long before we had a drink, were we able to settle for status quo. Nothing that was normal ever merited our attention for more than a split second. If it wasn’t better than normal, we didn’t like it. And that’s before we ever had a drink. So, we had better jolly […]
- Courage and Self-Kindness ()
“Knowledge is important, but only if we’re being kind and gentle with ourselves as we work to discover who we are.” —Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection While an undertaking the likes of making a “searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves” brings with it a tremendous potential for self-knowledge, participating in such a thorough […]
- Resisting Gravity ()
“Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he […]
- How Life Should Be ()
“Egocentricity is having a better idea about how this moment should be. […] Ego talks in terms of ‘This is right… This is wrong… I have to do this… A person must…” — phrases like that. When we are listening to egocentricity we have the feeling that we know beyond doubt how we should be […]
- Restoration vs. Renovation ()
I heard someone comment on an interesting distinction last night, noting the difference between a renovation and a restoration. The latter is a reclamation of a past state, a return to its former self, and a way to make new again, while a renovation is really just the process of fixing something up. In a […]