Listening Full Circle
Published in Blog Posts. Tags: Meditations.
Listening Full Circle
Good Morning, my name is Carl and I am being coached by Grace. It is the Grace of God that stands behind us, is to the right of us, to the left of us and opens doors before us. (If you are comfortable repeat that statement using your own name.)
Are you reading the scripture? What prayer thought comes to mind?
Ezekiel. Lord, sometimes I wonder just how lost I have become. Life has been full of twists and turns, detours and tunnels have led me into places hard to navigate. You have promised to give a leader. David is long gone. Would I then find grace in following his words and if so does David represents the authority of the king or the grace of the shepherd?
Psalm. Lord, the Psalmist suggests we can celebrate, make joyful noises. There are moments of reprieve, remission. Our being lost is not the controlling factor. Indeed while being under attack we experience these moments when a light shines through, when we cannot help but laugh, smile and even shout for joy. For that thank you.
Psalm. Lord, the Psalmist calls you great, above all kings. Above all gods. Lord, are you alone one god or are you, God, above all that is conjured up and created to explain good and evil. Are you the living force, the living Spirit enabled to lead and to save? Do we listen because we know your voice? Do we follow because we see your hand before us? Yet the testimony of the Psalmist does not ask the question, only responds.
Ephesians, Lord, Paul dares to attribute this royalty to Jesus. In Paul’s mind he dares to equate the work Jesus did with your aspirations that all would be sought, all would be saved. Is this the voice we need to listen to? Is this the voice that will lead us to our needs?
Matthew, Lord, one of the disciples, tells us how Jesus dared to put himself inside that voice. It is he who calls those who listen to the voice. It is he who claims to be the shepherd. Now, Lord, as I look back I can see the long days of pain and suffering. I can see the long days of of travail yet I also remember the moments of peace, of singing, of joy. Now, Lord, I live with and claim the words of hope, of joy, of deliverance. Amen.
Music:
“All Creatures of Our God and King”
“Ye Servants of God”
Meditation: Listening Full Circle
This week the heart monitor came off. It was one of those tunnels I mentioned in prayer.
As I read people’s posts here on Facebook over this last week there are some primary feelings mentioned or alluded to. A feeling of joy, having life together, lost, feeling like walking on a bridge with the presence of hell beneath. Then thirdly a feeling of confusion. This last feeling is more the place where I have been this week.
I am in a place of coming out. It is as if I am torn between the worlds that have preoccupied me for years. I am both letting go and hanging on.
The world of sarcoidosis has certainly imposed itself on me. The church has ever been in front of me. The thinking/philosophical part of my nature has moved me from doorway to doorway at times bringing me to a cliff allowing me step off, to soar in the winds not holding me back or controlling where I would go. And here I am writing yet another meditation. This year has been a wonderful time of reflection. It has allowed me to answer questions raised by you the reader. I have heard and felt your responses. At all times attempting to be sensitive to these influences and variables. Where am I, who am I, what am I about?
From nowhere the voice comes. You have been about the voice. Those 40 years walking along side the disenfranchised. Those years laying in the bed often knowing how the struggle keeps you down. Those times when you did what you did because you knew it had to get done. Those times when “risk” was the only option. Those times when you wanted something desperately but knew it was not the right time. Those times you heard the voice.
The shepherd’s voice. Sometimes it was loud, other times soft, but it never stopped. It was always with me. I did not always pay attention to it. Those times when I knew I was trying to muffle it, trying to disguise it, making it seem like I was on target knowing completely I was in the wrong target range. Yet this voice made its presence known.
Ezekiel spoke of it to a wandering people, The Psalmist spoke of it as a faithful voice. Paul reflected as one who experienced the voice through the faithful response of many and Jesus declared it to be the voice, the voice with creation in the beginning and finally the voice in the end of time as we know it.
As I look back over over the last 49 weeks I began a pilgrimage. It came at a time when I was asking a lot of serious questions. Questions about who am I, where am I and where am I going? I discovered a lot this last year. I am simply a man of faith, a man of God. I have discovered what I am about. This information is not complicated but it is tied to this voice. So now I ask you “who are you? Where are you right now? Where are you going?
In Conclusion: “Desiderata”